I picked up a copy of Sex In The South based based on the recommendation of a friend who had read it and said it was an interesting look at the underground sex culture of the south. By dwelling here in the land of Dixie, I can attest to the fact that sexuality is quite repressed in the South, although probably not as much as one would suspect. And overall I did enjoy this book, but it isn’t without its pitfalls.
First off, you should know that Sex In The South’s author, Suzi Parker, is not a sex writer. She does not earn her living writing, talking and/or teaching about sexuality. She merely got caught up as a third party in a minor sexual scandal in Arkansas and decided to take a deeper look at sex in the south. This is crucial to understanding her position as she ventures into the more sexual side of people in the south. She had zero experience or exposure to many of the things that she witnessed while writing this book. So this was very much a learning process for her.
And therein lies the best part of the book. Not only do you get a bit of insight into what could be going on in your neighbor’s bedrooms, you also get to tag along with her as she ventures into various situations with wide-eyed innocence ad not knowing what to expect.
The book is divided by state and each state contains two or three different situations that she encounters in that state. The situations that she writes about includes fairly tame scenarios, such as an in-home sex toy party to the rather over-the-top, like an S&M weekend retreat (in Alabama, no less!). She attends the Ms. Gay America Pageant, a Burlesque club here in good old Atlanta, what has to be the most explicit strip club I’ve ever heard of and even a photo shoot for the website Southern Charms. So you get a chance to witness all sorts of sexual activities being performed across the Bible Belt.
The thing that I really found off-putting is that she has a somewhat condescending tone throughout. She looks down on those who have really kinky lifestyles, such as hardcore BDSM players, as though they are completely foreign to her. But she also looks down on those who are totally sheltered as well, where she makes several jokes at their expense in the book. So basically, she falls into the pit of ‘normalcy’ where there is some sort of happy medium, I guess. It’s not terribly prevalent, but you can sense it in quite a few bits of her dialog.
Also, you can pretty much skip the section where she visits Gennifer Flowers’ night club. It adds zero insight into sex in the south and is more like celebrity-watching.
Other than those complaints though, it is a very interesting and enjoyable read. I very much enjoyed following along with someone being exposed to the various flavors of sexual lifestyles going on in the south for the first time. It is also interesting to see how much of these activities still have to be hidden and sheltered down here, for fear of community repercussions. And when you do encounter people who flaunt their sexuality out in the open, such as ‘Skirtman’ the cross-dresser, it comes across like a breath of fresh air as you find yourself admiring these people for putting it all out there.
I must warn you though. If you are a fan of amateur porn, the story regarding Southern Charms may destroy your image of what goes on on an amateur porn set. Suzi delivers a classic line at one point after watching about three different scenes transpire, where, in frustration she finally declares, “Doesn’t anyone ever have an orgasm around here?!?”
I took away a couple of things from this book as well. First, there is a statement that one of the coordinators for the BDSM weekend made that I have adopted as my mantra when I encounter sexual situations and fetishes that I don’t fully understand. His statement, when asked about a particularly outrageous sexual situation was, “I look at it this way. Your kink is not my kink, and vice versa, and that’s okay.”
The other thing I learned was that Memphis is apparently the BDSM center of the south, where the culture is thriving and anything goes. Who knew!
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